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Monster of CircumstancesMy poetry is getting old,
Because the World I live in is gray and cold,
To paint it no one in this land is bold,
No prophesies or legends about such people told.
Just looking around the ugly post-soviet city,
The reason why my poetry is not very pretty.
When I gaze at it I am filled with disgust and pity.
Sadness and despair here I learn,
Why do I need from life this degree to earn?
Why do I need to know how to hate?
I already know, alas it is too late!
I lost my love, I lost my sanity,
I want to destroy! Where is my humanity?
It is all consumed by evil and vanity.
My reflection on the mirror is just a fake gimmick,
The monster inside me tries a person to mimic.
I am alone though, no one is helping me understand,
No one is willing to give me a hand.
When I fell for her, I was a little enlightened,
But now by the darkness I am blighted.
My identity piece by piece I have to collect,
But I know, even that I will neglect.
Impossible Crush“Forget your heart, from your feelings get away”,
That is what my mind used to say.
But everything can change in one day,
And its effects can forever stay.
How did I even fall in love?
Was I punished by the God above?
No one has told me the complete truth,
But I just know that I am wasting my youth.
She is never going to see me from far away,
Even if she does, she is going to turn away.
She will laugh if she reads my real name,
I am surrounded by darkness, she is surrounded by fame.
To my dreams I said goodbye from the first time,
But they refuse to leave; they say it is a crime.
Alas, I get farther from every strike of the clock,
Because in this land I am under lock!
WeakWhen I write I send my words to mid air,
My soul God can never again spare,
Because I am useless, I am drowning in despair,
And I cannot fight everything that is unfair.
Just watching the rainy sky does not change our lives,
Just wandering around the World brings no satisfaction,
And I am afraid to take the slightest action,
Because I know that you will send me away.
No matter how I try to write you a letter,
My scribbles are not worthy of your eyes,
Alas, I cannot make them better,
That’s why from you they are disguised.
After everyone had from me their vengeance,
Now came fate’s turn to make the final strike.
Do not yield, my love, fight for your independence,
Before you get in your heart a spike.
Facing Reality“Why do you need fame? Is it the money or is it the power you want?”
“ Love is the only thing I desire. I want to be near her”.
“Love? Ha-ha-ha! You are a fool to think that love can take you to the top”.
“I believe that one day we will meet each other, the only thing I need is recognition”.
“Look, your time is running out, you have not achieved anything significant and there are a lot of people that have better chances than you do. Give up on the idea and live your miserable life”.
“My writings will save me. I believe I will achieve my goals”.
“If you think your worthless pieces will get you somewhere and will change your life, then you are out of your mind. Look at your writings! Just look at them! No one will read them, no one I tell you. Have you forgotten the time when they were denied by literary magazines? Aren’t you tired of seeing “We regretfully inform you…” and so on
ExistenceOur story had ended before it could start,
In your World I am not present, but you took my heart.
It is impossible, it’s not even hard, to meet for us one bright day.
I doubt that I could find to your eyes a way.
Just to exist for you what would I not give!
Alas, my destiny on my every step deceives.
So many twists, so many turns,
But an endless fire inside me burns:
One year ago in times of sorrow,
When I did not see any signs of tomorrow,
You came along and wrecked the past,
Before your beauty it could not last,
With your help I forgot it fast,
What powerful spells you can cast!
That’s why I value you more than my life,
I wish you would always thrive.
Strange FriendshipNever my soul you befriended,
Because you always me offended,
Though I kept and keep our friendship secure,
This is an illness for which I cannot find a cure.
Many mistakes I made, many troubles I got in to,
My dear friend, it was all for you.
I took the blame for your deeds,
I had done everything to meet your needs.
In times when I covered you I almost got busted,
Good thing that my words everyone trusted.
I have never heard a “thank you” in return,
But know that against you I will not turn.
Though my heart was not meant for you,
In my mind for no reason I loved you.
It will be a secret that I’ll forever keep,
Through these moments of my life I am going to leap.
You are a girl with a future that is lost,
I look at you and see that you are a ghost.
You had your chances, now they are gone.
Saving you is my mission and alas, it is undone!
A Poet's FallA dying spirit of a poet can never again resurrect,
If his dreams and feelings are treated with neglect.
For the love of his life his battle will never stop,
Even if his pen he forever dropped.
He will see the darkest hours,
When the lighting strikes and drains his powers.
His small victories will no longer cheer him,
Because she never will be near him.
And I watch him from the side:
He is hopeless and taken by despair,
I know to madness he will glide,
But from the start I’ve never cared.
His time is slowly running out,
But he is not struggling at all,
He accepted fate without doubt,
And now with pride he awaits his greatest fall.
He knows that he’s a goner,
Though he does not call for help.
Alas, I am along with him dishonored,
Because I see him as myself!
Understanding PainWhen everyone chanted your name that day
I understood that to your heart I had no way.
You do not want stop by and read the poems I wrote,
You are famous; you do not recognize my existence.
My writings are obscure; they are used to clear a dry throat,
But I continue against all forces my resistance.
I wish someday you would understand this pain.
You stabbed me with your charming looks,
I can no longer live with the wound from your grace,
The love that hit me that day you cannot find in any books!
Only God can your name from my life erase!
If one day you will this cursed piece read,
Know that I still for you burn,
I know you my love will never need,
But who knows, destiny can turn.
Fake WonderlandA place where you want to breathe,
But you cannot get enough air.
A place that you want to leave,
But you can’t, you are in despair.
Freedom is something I wanted long ago.
They used to tie me up with a rope.
I am packing and now I am ready to go,
To rebuild, to change it all there is no hope.
In lies we have to swim every day,
To love we are not allowed anymore.
Anything you want you are not able to say,
They throw you in a room and lock the door.
A fake wonderland that no one can escape,
If your body is gone, your soul will stay.
The truth they can no longer shape,
They want to throw it to the sea away!
You freed me from this chain,
Now my soul can for a while rest.
I want to love you, but I am insane:
To alter this realm I try my best!
SolaceShe never slept well in the dark,
not without the children of the sun and moon
to guide her weary lids home.
Guided by the aftermath, she was always two steps behind.
What did the world look like to the girl who had been through it all?
Braved the heaviest of storms,
yet skipping over cracks in the pavement.
They said her eyes were the wisps of clouds before the storm.
To him they were reflections of pages overlooked.
She said it was like she lived the life of someone she had never met.
Laid out to dry, yesterdays news.
He knew her as the girl who was built to never collapse.
He wished he was too.
He loved her more than words could say, and yet her pain was such,
that at times, he feared she wouldn’t make it.
But on nights like these, even when it threatened to consume her,
he became convinced that somehow she would.
Southern modernizationBlack comedy market economy, banana peel political humour, cards with the cartels, the solution free room service and credit the union. Bolivar twist, ding dong dollar under control, valley of the coin desert with no value. Gangsta paradise, the victims are the people. Big mac and cold conflict interference a part of it all. In little Mexico you’d need a high horse to jump the great border wall that boasts its peak.
Viracocha melts waters unlike those it rose from, making waves of out of metal oceans to overtake the current south, re-steel, re-take, tech-mechs the entire south into neo-Machu Picchu, cyberpunk music moulding, reshaping old society into an new age, iron dynasty, fresh coat for an old, ancient look. The coattails of Quetzalcoatl if he were a modern man pull together the merge of future and long passed past..techno temples and the like.
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